They left him broken...

...they left him broken, writhing in pain, and bleeding from the anus.

You will understand shortly as to why this title works on many levels. You see, today I was faced with the scourge of all of Western Civilisation. Namely...the All Beef Chilli Dog made by Piller's on Mac Campus. They sit there and taunt you, 'hey you! yeah, you with the glasses and the dancing hair! come here! you know that you want me. you want to eat me, you know that you do. come here. be persuaded by the power of the kidney bean.' and then they have you, you're shelling out your hard earned money for that little bit of temptation. The Chilli Dog is truly the spawn of Satan, but it tastes soooooo scrump-diddly-umptuous.

Not only do you pay for it when you buy it, you also pay for it a few hours later, leaving you writhing in pain. Also, the damn thing cost $7.50 plus tax (although it did include a 600 mL Coke), which brings me to wonder how exactly all the Residence students are supposed to subsist on 15 dollars a day? erg....

These Precious Things

It has been a week of listening to nothing but The Fragile and to venus and back, and I must say that it has been like '94 all over again. Now only to wait for Hours... to come out on the 5th of October. I'm in a complete state of bliss, zoned out from the rest of the world. Please forgive me tomorrow if I'm even less coherent than I am usually.

All TOOL songs are about, yep you guessed it, SEX

Okay, now that I've got your attention, let me tell you what I pulled out of my ass after talking with a bunch of kids downtown who happened to be wearing Tool shirts. (I know, I know, I must be getting old actually talking to kids to ask them their opinion of a band, to "get in touch" with the *in* thing.) Anyway, they came to the conclusion that all Tool songs are about sex. Now, let me break this down song by song without listening to any of the lyrics at all. (Sit back, this might be good for a laugh)
From Opiate:
Sweat - caused by the act of sex
Hush - "quiet little girl while I fuck you in your daddy's house"
Part of Me - about everyone's favourite member
Cold and Ugly - necrophiliacs unite
Jerk-Off -
Opiate - sex as the drug of the people

From Undertow:
Intolerance - intolerant about people who don't want sex
Prison Sex - rape and all it's fun stuff
Sober - the morning after sex with that ex-girlfriend you now hate
Bottom - sex with the prostitute
Crawl Away - a testament to the person who was raped
Swamp Song - song about the "swamp" in which sex takes place
Undertow - the pull and call to sex
4° - taking the level of sex up four degrees
Flood - when you're the number one porn star
Disgustipated - disgust over people who don't want sex

From Ænima (this one's a little harder):
Stinkfist -
Eulogy - a dirge to someone who died during sex
H. - "I'm Horny all night long, I'm Horny all night long"
Useful Idiot - the sex slave
Forty Six & 2 - the ultimate orgy (46 women & 2 men)
Message to Harry Manbeck - "I want your sex"
Hooker with a Penis - a lament about strange encounters with prostitutes
Intermission - while the band has sex
Jimmy - have you ever heard the stories about little Jimmy?
Die Eier von Satan - Satan's Eggs i.e. a song about the horrors of woman
Pushit - the act of sex
Cesaro Summability - umm...Caeser had sex didn't he?
Ænima - weird kinky water sex
(-) Ions - umm...the inny outy theorem
Third Eye - contemplations on the navel

Okay, there you go. Now anyone who hasn't *listened* to the songs has an idea of what they're all about. Happy now?